Me? Hrm, well, let’s see then.

I am a loving, slightly crazy, single-mother of three. I am a gemini and I love babysitters, candle-lit dinners and long walks on the beach at sunset….wait, but I digress.

I have a closer relationship with my pharmacist than many people have with their priest. (This is not so much by choice as it is by frequency of contact. Plus, she’s hot. Oh, and the confession booth. Not into telling a dirty old man behind a screen all the naughty things I may have been up to. Instead I write them all here for God AND the world to see.)

I have lots wrong with me. But I’m working on having lots right with me too. In the meantime, you’ll hear lots of whining and moaning about compulsive eating, bi-polar II, chronic pain, back injuries, medication hootenany, the joys and pains of single parenting, money crap, and your basic oh-woe-is-me shite. You’ll probably also glean some gems about my hopes and fears, dreams and traumas. You know, the good and the bad. I’m the whole package, baby.

I am a terrible, terrible housekeeper. (No seriously, t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e. All I want for Christmas is a maid.) I’m a pretty darn good cook. I’m a really great singer. I was good at my day job and I loved it, even if it was where I sustained the back injury that will plague me for life, before I got too sick to work. I’m good at many other things too, but a lady doesn’t talk about that. Wait a minute, who am I calling a lady? Fuck.

I love animals and I love babies. But I don’t want either residing in my house for any length of time, not right now. Possibly in the future I will consider a dog. In the meantime, visitors are welcome. But I will not adopt you. That is all.

I come from a family of professional musicians, generations over. My dad had his own radio show in the sixties, singing big-band jazz. My mom toured with Leonard Cohen in her prime. My brother is a verifiable Canadian Rock Star poised to break into the US market very soon. (I will not name his band here because it will mean I get 9 million hits from 12-15 year old girls who are only hoping I’ll talk about my brother. If you know me, you know who he is. If you’re a 12 year old girl who’s figured it out and wants to hear more about the trials and tribulations of single parenting, narcotic dependancy, and compulsive eating, have at ‘er. However, if you think I’ll be spilling about the fabulousness of my brother, how old he is, what his middle name is, or how you can get his cell phone number to tell him you are his biggest fan, think again. Family doesn’t work that way. At least, sure as hell THIS family doesn’t work that way.) My dinky little casino gigs seem to pale in comparison to the rest of my family’s accomplishments. But those gigs are my gigs – it’s what I do, and I’m proud of it.

I’m a terrible housekeeper. It’s worth mentioning twice. Don’t be offended if I don’t invite you in. It’s not you. (Well, it’s probably not you. But maybe it is.) It’s my house. I would be horrified for any other living being to see it on most days. If you’ve been left hanging in my doorway, testify.

Oh, and also, messy houses totally stress me out. Just sayin’. No wait. It’s just MY messy house that stresses me out.

I tend to be kinda stressed out more than I’d like. (Betcha didn’t see that one coming, did ya?) I’m working on finding a better balance. So I’m trying to do more yoga. I figure if I can balance better in Virabhadrasana 3 ~ Warrior 3 ~ I’ll be able to better balance my budget. Or something like that.

Anything else…you’ll have to read on and find out. Feel free to leave comments if something makes you think or examine…or if my writing style horrifies you and you’d like to correct my purposely incorrect use of punctuation. If there’s something you’d like to hear about, let me know that too. No promises, but we’ll see what Santa leaves in your stocking.

2 Responses to “About”

  1. 1 Melissa Shawanoo
    August 12, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    wow, I feel vidicated. Someone else feels the way I do and has the courage to admit it, out loud for the world to read. Then again I don’t have issue with telling the world-just the citizens in my city of hell. I also have Bipolar II (educated about it), panic attacks, conversion disorder, and likely some other disorders somewhere.
    I am a single parent to two children. I am a disorganized mess and would take a maid over a man any day. I’d be in control of the maid, can’t say that with a man. I adopted a puppy mill dog from a rescue and she is a great partener, she replaces a man in most ways and comes out on top. She doesn’t talk too much, she never hoards the remotes; she can’t do the sex part but a lot of men are useless and there are other ways.
    how do your family and friends accept your illness? Most of my friends ran like bipolar is contagious.
    I hope I have not bored you too much,

    • September 18, 2010 at 4:01 am

      Sounds like you’re dealing with a lot.

      My friends and family didn’t run. (My kids do ask me regularly if you can catch depression, however.) But I think some of them don’t quite believe it to be true, like it’s just one more of my dramas. (We of the bi-polar variety do tend to have dramas, don’t we?) Of course, they’ve never seen the extremes, when I won’t leave the house (or if I do, it sure ain’t to see them!) because I’m in such bad shape, or I literally can’t make myself sit down for hours because I’m so up. So they wouldn’t – couldn’t – really know my personal hell.

      The two people who have seen me at my absolute worst, and have stuck around, also battle with their own challenges, be it BPII, panic attacks, depression, and suicidal murkiness. In turn, I have seen them through their worst too. I feel lucky to have them in my life.

      The majority of people in my life didn’t run, and didn’t disbelieve, though. But they just didn’t know anything about BPII. So it been a matter of slowly educating them, while I’m also slowly, and sometimes painfully, educating myself.

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